The Secret Language of Hairdressers Explained

Errors in communication between my hairdresser and me in the form of "what i said and what he heard".  by Jez Burrows

said: Just a little off the length, and a little thinned out.
heard: Could you make me look like a clown’s apprentice?

said: A little shorter, thanks.
heard: I want the style that would emerge if you combined all three of Charlie’s Angels.

said: Just the usual — little shorter and thinner.
heard: You know when you have a bubble bath and you shape the bubbles all around your head? I want it like that.

said: If you could take some of the width off, that’d be great.
heard: If you could make it hard for me to appear in public, that’d be great.

said: Of course it isn’t okay — you’ve disfigured me beyond repair. I look like a mushroom.
heard: That’s perfect. Take my money.